I didn’t even realize I was becoming an “abused woman” because I had too much self-loathing to consider myself a “real woman.”
One of my closest friends, the person I talk to or text with about four times a day, on whom I lean for comfort, kindness, and a guaranteed laugh, the one who has probably said “I love you” to me more times than anyone in my life, just so happens to be a famous porn star.
The public often forgets the humanity behind celebrity, and this is particularly true for sex workers, whose real personalities and lives are willed away from consciousness to better facilitate projected fantasies. Any complexity or trauma behind the softened image is furthered rendered silent by an aversion to contributing further to the assumption by anti-sex work advocates that all workers are driven by damage, a dynamic also familiar to trans people.
All of which is why I ask that you take a moment to read Bailey’s intimate and honest account of a previous abusive relationship. It was hard for her to write this, to re-live the experience, to be so vulnerable in public, one that mainly knows, and only wants to know, the smiling face and displayed body. She did so to help others, one of the many reasons I hold her dear.
A Tech-Based Apprenticeship Focusing on Web Development and Graphic Design for the Trans Community.
I’m proud to be one of 15 people committed to raising $15k for the launch of Trans Tech Social Enterprises. Founder and CEO Angelica Ross is my friend, sister, and roommate, so I’ve had a front row seat to the development of this venture. Angelica and her team are passionately committed to addressing employment issues in the transgender community, particularly for those most at risk. One of the many unique insights informing this effort is that trans people need more than just technical training. They need to be empowered, have access to community, and regularly engage with people who share similar experiences and have achieved success.
Many activists, particularly white ones like myself, recognize that trans women of color face disproportional rates of every conceivable social ill, but we struggle with how to make a difference. In our zeal and earnest desire to help, we all too often substitute our wisdom for those actually impacted, rather than listening and supporting their own work. This is a concrete opportunity to actually do what we talk about. Please join me in supporting Trans Tech today by giving what you can, and sharing the campaign with your own networks. Thank you!
I think switching from coffee to tea has been more challenging to my identity than going from male to female.
Like, gender is a weird amalgamation of biology and culture and was I ever really a guy anyways and all that, but I AM a coffee drinker.
"Williamson’s grasp of “the biological facts of life” is no different than pointing to the rising and setting of the sun as as clear evidence that the earth is the center of the universe. Transgender people aren’t lies in the face of facts; we’re facts that widen the truth. Williamson’s audacity to determine what Cox’s body means is a worse sin, and the consequences of an attitude so thoroughly rooted in self-serving prejudice are far darker. His essay eerily echoes centuries of white men telling black women what they are. All who value human agency and self-determination should be deeply disturbed by such ideas.”
Four ways the annual list of transgender advocates is making a difference
The title makes me swallow my tongue a bit, but that aside, I love how this feature is framed, and that it includes quotes from Tiq Milan, Laura Jane Grace, Bailey Jay, Hayden Mora, and Miss Angelica Ross.
"To be transgender is to experience trauma. I don’t like seeing myself as a victim, and I believe my friends are I are better defined by what we do rather than what’s been done to us, but this fact can’t be ignored. We are first betrayed by our bodies and then remain vulnerable in a society that fears and often hates gender variance. The trauma manifests very differently depending on race, class, age, profession, sexual orientation, gender expression, etc., but the differences in our trauma shouldn’t separate us as much as the near universal fact of it should unite us.
Any further discussion of these issues should, at the least, include earnest attempts to understand each other. More importantly, differences should be addressed not in a context of who is right, but rather how to make things better for all those who come after us. Anything less is nothing more than self-aggrandizing. We can do better.”
My attempt to understand what’s at the heart of the fight between Parker Molloy, Calpernia Addams, Andrea James, RuPaul, and their respective supporters.
I love Mey Rude’s coverage of this year’s Trans 100. For each feature, she’s found a specific way you can support these women’s efforts. Read, learn, share, support.